Becoming a Single Woman of Virtue by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1

Is there anything about my speech, actions, dress, or attitudes that could defraud the men around me?

Am I building up my “house”—home, work place, church,—(vs. tearing it down)?

Am I taking in sensual thoughts and desires through books, magazines, TV programs,music, or movies that are not morally pure?

Am I investing in the lives of those around me? Am I nurturing the heart of my siblings or others God has called me to bless?

Am I looking to any man (pastor, counselor, colleague, etc.) to fill an emotional vacuum in my life? Do I go to a man rather than going to the Lord to meet my emotional needs?

Am I cultivating a grateful, joyful spirit? Am I rejoicing in the Lord?

Is there any behavior or relationship I am involved in that I am hiding? Am I engaged in anything now that I will not want my husband to know about if I marry in the future?

Am I giving the best of my physical and emotional energy for the Lord?

Am I discontent? Am I dwelling on thoughts that make me unable to find fulfillment through serving the Lord and those around me He has called me to serve?

Am I cultivating a pleasant, gracious spirit in my words, actions, and attitudes that brings honor and glory to the Lord?

Am I critical or judgmental? Do my parents have the freedom to be honest with me?

Am I keeping my emotions, attention, and affection from every man to whom I am not engaged or married? Am I protecting the thoughts and feelings of my heart?

Is my conversation ever loose, crude, or unbecoming for a woman of God?

Am I discreet and restrained in the way I talk with men at work?

Am I expressing admiration for a man that should more appropriately come from his wife?

16. Do I communicate a meek, quiet, and submissive spirit?

Does my demeanor tend to be “loud and defiant”? Do I dominate or try to control the men around me?

Does my dress help men to keep their thoughts pure and Christ-centered? Is my dress feminine and modest?

Am I a “door” or a “wall” (Song of Songs 8:9)? Am I a “loose” woman? Do I communicate to the men around me that I am “available”? Does my demeanor invite them to “partake” of intimate parts of my body, soul, or spirit? Do I engage in flirtatious speech, looks, or behavior?

Have I purposed in my heart to be morally pure?

Am I currently in a situation that is (or could become) compromising?

Do I reserve intimate communication, looks, words, and touch for my future husband (if I marry)?

Have I become a “refuge” for a man who may be struggling in his marriage?

Have I surrendered my sexual desires in honor of the Lord, my future husband, and the marriages or future marriages of those around me? Am I walking in holiness and honor?

Do I esteem and value any man more than the Lord? Do I love any man more than I love the Lord? Who comes first in my estimation?

Would those who know me best say that I am a woman of moral virtue and purity?

Am I in a situation that could appear to others to be compromising?

Am I making myself accountable to another godly woman for my walk with God and others?

Do I treat men with respect by keeping a proper distance from them, emotionally and physically?

Have I erected (and am I maintaining) adequate “hedges” in my relationships with men? Have I defined what those hedges are?

“Lord, I acknowledge and renounce my sinful involvement in _______________ and pray in the name and through the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ that you would break this stronghold in my life. I realize, Lord, this sin has been a detrimental influence in my life [and marriage]. Lord, I humbly ask that You would forgive me and wash me in the blood of Christ, cleansing me from this sin. I ask you, Lord Jesus to take back the ground given to the enemy through my involvement and I yield that ground to Your control. I purpose to honor You in my heart, practicing purity and discretion in all of my relationships.”

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