Watching a young child kicking and screaming because he does not get what he desires is a marvel to witness. It draws out in all who watch a distaste for selfishness, for it is a demonstration of self though pitchin’ a fit! Its blatant expression of ugliness reveals of the one kicking, that they are desperate to come to this last fit of emotions! Reward should not be given for this action or you will have the making of a monster. “Self” will never be satisfied!

There is one thing, more devastating than a child who always gets his way, a wife who allows her emotions to lead her.Pitchin’ fits in wives looks far different than the child kicking on the floor. This woman is full-grown, and has learned other methods of getting self’s way. If seeing a child reeling on the floor is a marvel,watching a woman get her way is a wonder of deception that carries destruction like the world has yet to see and understand. Solomon saw it when he wrote in Proverbs 14:1 “A wise women builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” In the original language the words “tears it down” means “undermines it”. The questions we should ask ourselves are: “Are we pitchin’fits or pursuing faith?” How can we recognize the difference?

For some of us, who came into our marriages with the spirit of independence, we have learned all too well what this fosters in a home. “You just don’t understand,” probably ranks top of the phrases used by ladies pickin‘ fits. It can come in tears, or an angry glare, or a quiet defiance. The one stating it has not spent time with the One who does understand, because if she had, she would need no one else to understand. He would be enough. This is why our Heavenly Father shows great wisdom in placing us in all kinds of circumstances to draw out this heart of mistrust and wanting control. When we are pursuing faith, we are learning what it means to have a surrendered will.

Can I mention, one more way we show an unyielding heart? When we do not welcome our trials and conflicts as friends, and instead seek control by pointing our fingers with an ultimatum to stop them. Our Father is always faithful to give us a choice. And to the one not yielding, it looks like options of our own making to avoid difficulty. He sees our fearing unbelieving hearts. He wants to set us free so we can be mature and complete, lacking nothing. This emotional fit cries, “This conflict would not be here IF...” because the one crying, has not understood the PRICE that comes when SELF is given PEACE, instead of DEATH. We must learn quickly to see the Hand of God in all things, to reveal our hearts and teach us to trust.

Oswald Chamber states it beautifully:

“Resting in the Lord does not depend on external circumstances at all, but on your relationship to God Himself. Fussing always ends in sin. We imagine that a little anxiety and worry are an indication of how really wise we are. Fretting springs from a determination to get our own way. Our Lord never worried and he was never anxious, because he was not “out” to realize His own ideas. Fretting is wicked if you are a child of God.”

We are in need of courageous women with sound minds, who walk by faith and not by emotions or circumstances. They do not shirk back at signs of conflict, but “laugh at the days ahead.” They walk with such hope and faith in Christ that their lives show how all things work together to conform them to His image. Like Paul, can we say follow me as I follow Christ? Can we say to the world (our children and friends), watch me respond to this trial by counting it all joy?! See how I am anxious for nothing, but in everything praying and thankful…This is expressed in the one who is pursing faith, and learning daily what it means to die to self. If we equate pursuing faith with activities we deem spiritual and miss the moment by moment choices of yielding, we miss the whole picture of this life of Grace. Pursuing faith is much more than a quiet time in the morning or prayer time at noon. It has feet that obey, hands that serve, eyes that have hope and a heart that surrenders. It’s following the ONE who does understand, and finding all we need for life and godliness IN CHRIST.

We must not forget that our pursuit of God will mean that He will be much more concerned with our character than our comfort. He will especially touch those areas in our lives where we have worn a cloak of weakness over willfulness and pride. Most of the time He will use imperfect vessels to reveal this dross in our lives. It does not matter what’s used, as long as we deal honestly with the overflow of our own mouths and actions. A young single mother was in the midst of what seem to her, many hard choices to make. These choices would mean less independence, and more dependence on God. Her troubled heart was in confusion and without knowing it, she began to pitch an emotional fit! She had asked her three year old boy to do something, and with both hands folded around his defiant chest, he said NO, and then began to pitch his fit! As she wrapped her arms around him, to restrain him from hurting himself, she heard a still small voice saying, “Daughter, this is all I am wanting for you…to be still and yield to my will.” It is a very heavy and weary task to resist your Heavenly Father. His yoke is easy and light! He said learn of me, for I am meek and lowly, and you shall find rest for your souls.” He yielded to the yoke of His Fathers will. Remember, the difference between rest and resist is (the S I) selfish independence.