Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When I’m talking to people who have been hurt, I encourage them to make a list of the wrongs done to them, along with the way they responded. If they responded sinfully, the first step is to go back and seek forgiveness for that wrong response.

That may seem strange, but we are not responsible for what others do to us; we’re only responsible for how we respond to them.

Once we’ve cleared our conscience, the next step is to look at the list and say, “Lord, by Your grace, I choose to forgive. I choose not to hold these sins against this other person anymore.”

Have you been carrying around hurt and bitterness that you need to deal with? By taking responsibility for your responses and clearing the record of others’ sins, you can find true freedom.

With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.